Watching The World Go By Without Me
I don't know how long I have had BPD since my memory is completely shot. I'd say it has been around 3 years since i was diagnosed. Life is difficult, but most people do not understand how it is almost impossible for people like me. Two days ago I just lost the last person in the world who would still talk to me. They didn't die...they just could not handle me anymore. I am almost constantly filled with overwhelming anger and scream at people for things they did to me or things I imagined they did to me, mostly the latter. I've been trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life for all of my 27 years on this planet, and I still have no idea. I used to have a job but was paranoid that my coworkers hated me and were trying to get me fired. I eventually had to take a leave from work and never went back. I am unemployed, live with my father because I am incapable of living on my own, have absolutely no friends, hardly step outside the house, and am tired of living. I'm a superstar.