What I Love About My Fleshly Manifestation...Well, I grow tired of hearing all the negative aspects about people with BPD. So I want to start telling my story with a list of positive traits I possess. This first story will be about my physical appearance because it is something I have struggled with so much. Perhaps this will come off as conceited, but the reason I start here is because despite reality, I often do not feel pretty enough, which is ridiculous...The first thing people notice about me is my beauty. I have often been told that some women would kill for my looks. I am 5'9". I am slender. My hair is thick and shiny with a natural wave that enhances the curve of my face. I have naturally clear complexion, and long eyelashes. My eyebrows are arched very nicely, and I never have to pluck them because they are very light. I am a natural blonde, although it has darkened over the years, especially during the winter. I have big beautiful eyes, and they are very special because my right eye is blue and my left eye is green, this is also natural. I have very high cheekbones, and a nicely chiseled jaw that has this subtle line of muscle between my cheeks and jaw that I really love. I have a well defined, nicely sized chin. My ears are like a lovely swirled question mark, and my lobes are so soft and protrude just the right amount. My ears lay very close to my face, which is why I think I can pull off a shaved head :) My nose is very cute, and just the right size. It has been called a button nose, but I think it has more elegance than a button :). It has a very nice bridge with a profile my family calls the ski jump, and everyone on my mother's side has this nose. My lips are a very pretty rosy color, bow shaped and not too thick or too thin. I've got a great smile, but my teeth need some straightening for superficial reasons, but also because I have jaw problems that can be helped by straightening them. I can wakeup in the morning, fresh out of bed, and look great. I do not have to wear makeup, but I am very good at applying it. Often women ask me for advice on makeup/beauty and style. My face is very symmetrical, and well proportioned. My body is also very well proportioned. I have lovely long legs, which are very nicely toned from vigorous bike riding. I have a nice sized torso with a very cute bellybutton and just a slight, soft belly. I have great hips, I used to think they were too big but now I love them. Biking has done wonders for my butt :P I have a small waist, and a natural hourglass figure. My breasts are a lovely and perky 36B. (I used to think this was too small because my older sister had such large breasts she needed surgery to reduce them because of medical problems they were causing. She has really taught me to think differently from the cultural ideal of big bosoms.) I have very nice hands and feet (even though my feet have callouses from walking around barefoot since the age of 5 all around this gorgeous earth). My nails grow long and are very strong. I love to paint them, and I am great at nail art. My skin is naturally very soft, as is my hair. People often tell me how soft my hands are. My neck is long and sleek and I have two very adorable beauty marks on the lower left front and upper right front of my neck. When I communicate with people, I listen intently and always hold eye contact. I know how to move my body as well. I love dancing, and posing, and sending subtle signals with my body language. I am very good at subtly (and not so subtly) letting others know when they attract me. My face is very emotive. I was not always as slender as I am now, but I have lost a lot of weight this past year. I want to continue on that path because I have found out how good exercise and working out makes me feel, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I think it may be the key to my mental health. As a teenager I had acne, but I grew out of it. I also had braces when I was young (unfortunately I did not wear my retainer enough and my teeth shifted) but I now wear invisalign. Besides that, the only other thing I would want to change about my appearance will not change...the scars on my arms and legs have faded but they were very deep and are still noticeable. I sometimes worry about how people perceive them.
Also, I have had my hair styled all different ways, from shaved to very stylized to long and pretty. I wear it curly, straight, and wavy. I have dyed it all different colors from blonde(r) to black to bright blue. I used to wear a lot of black makeup during puberty, when I also wore a lot of black clothes. Now I have a very sophisticated style with the financial means to purchase the designers I love, including BCBG (absolute favorite), Guess, Michael Kors, and so many more. I have totally mastered the art of wearing makeup to enhance my beauty whilst others think I have none on. I love natural makeup and I am good at apply it lightly and dramatically.
Okay so there is my list about things I love about this fleshy manifestation that is my body :) I am by no means perfect, but I've got it pretty good. What do you love about your appearance?