And you should do whatever you want to in order to achieve that happiness. Whatever it takes to get through the day. I don't give a flying **** about anyone who may pass judgment if I choose to dabble in drugs or booze or whatever the **** I want to do just to get out of my head! I am so fed up with the self-doubt, the self-loathing, the second-guessing of myself, the obsessive negative thoughts, the sleepless nights and hating my life. I'm over it. And I guarantee that if normal people had to be inside of our brain for a second, they would kill themselves. It's not easy being this way. So be proud of yourselves for making it this far. I love you all. Keep up the good fight.