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Overcoming Bpd

So I just stumbled upon this website and I've read a couple of stories on BPD and I feel so good because I've only recently been diagnosed and I've been trying to deny it to myself , i mean i dont deny that i have it, but i refuse to get therapy. so now my friends are really mad at me cuz they see how im deteriorating and i use BPD as an excuse for every time i **** up and they think its not fair that im not even trying to get therapy and going down this spiral of self destruction instead.
thing with me is mos people dont realize how ****** up i am because i am extremely outgoing and im always laughing and making other people laugh. but inside, i am constantly freaking out. and when i freak out, i do impulsive things, and then i get into trouble, and then my parents or friends have to bail me out. 
so i was wondering.........has any one relaly seen a huge improivement from DBT ???? its so expensive.........im also such an idiot, i got my college to increase my financial aid just so i could use the extra money to get therapy but i spent all the money on online psychics (about $2000) cuz i thot they coiuld "HEAL" me and that therapy was useless.....
Please share your thoughts........if you think therapy is totally worth the $$$ or if it's really up to US workjing on ourselves.....
i feel like i use therapists/psychics/friends/family to escape fixing myself.....like im always liooking for an easy way out without really confronting the issues. 
and to be honest, my friends and family are tired of my problems which are always of my own creation and they jsut wanna see me take responsibility for my actions and not go around blaming BPD....
fay89 fay89 22-25 1 Response Mar 16, 2012

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find your inner child, give em a big hug, give him more unconditional love then anyone has before, and never let go.