There Is Hope.

(Decided to edit this to explain myself more)

For people suffering with BPD, I just wanted to say that there is hope! It takes a lot of self-exploration, discovery, spirituality, time, patience, mindfulness, and grueling work but there is hope in recovery!

I'm not sure if I'm just having a good day but I feel more whole--less fragmented despite the awful and emotionally challenging days I've had! I feel like I've been trampled by a thousand trucks, yet I am still hopeful.

I have been doing a lot of self-exploration and discovery through therapy and in my free time. Practicing mindfulness and trying my hardest to focus on the present has been the greatest help. Two weeks ago, I had the worst episode I ever experienced; dissociation and all (wrote a story about it and posted it on here) but for the first time, I didn't resort to the impulsive and familiar self-destructive patterns.

I felt the emotions and released it without being irrational or hard on myself for having acted that way. I have been to hell and back with this disorder and feel like it has taken me as a person and ripped me into pieces; however, today... I feel regenerated and whole. My mind is clearer than ever and although I know feeling this great may not last and I'm bound to experience another episode--many episodes, it's progress showing that recovery is very possible!

The self-hatred I feel has lifted and I have been more motivated than ever before (not in a manic way... this is not a manic episode). Little-by-little, I can feel the fragmented pieces of myself coming together even if they are only meant to break apart again, it's something I haven't felt before and has rekindled my hope that I won't deal with this my entire life. (Seems like a contradiction to one of my other stories -.- but eh, we have good and bad days!).

I wanted to share this in hopes it may give someone else a little hope!
KittyFelix KittyFelix
26-30, F
1 Response May 7, 2012

Hey, don't mind my handle. My lack of empathy is for people who I deem to keep moaning without saying at least what they have done to solve their issues.<br />
Having said that, I am sincerely happy for those who do what they can to correct what they think is out of balance in their life.<br />
I wish you luck. <br />
As a caution, don't over-correct like what I've done. It gets harder to get some passion back, like I'm finding out