Update....To all borderliners,
I feel compelled to write to you, but what I want to say isn't clear yet in my head. I'm just going to go with it. Bear with me.
For a couple of weeks I've been getting dialectical behaviour therapy, this is similar to CBT in as much as it teaches you techniques to manage the disorder, but this is aimed at those with emotional disorders.
Perhaps I could offer a number of techniques and little bits and pieces of things i've picked up from various therapies and one helluva lot of research and personal exploration that have helped me on and off?
First off, I have a rule that I stick to, no matter what. Don't be hard on yourself. Don't beat yourself up about things. Absolutely no negative self-talk is allowed. Accept that you can only do the best that you can in any given situation, and if your 'best' doesn't seem to be enough for you, accept that too.
Secondly know that you are so much more than just the sum of your thoughts, emotions , memories, physical sensations and evaluations. Just because you 'have the feeling of' for instance,, intense grief, doesn't mean that is all you are about or all you will ever be about. Emotions etc constantly come and go like waves, try to accept them for what they are.......just emotions.
Thirdly, do things one at a time. Everything you can. When you're cooking dinner, just consider the smells, the tastes, the feel of the heat from the oven, use your senses and when other thoughts intrude, as they inevitably do, try to acknowledge they are there and then let them slip out of your mind and continue with your cooking or whatever task you are doing.
Fourthly, those of us with this disorder know that we are probably constantly in a state of heightened emotion of some kind. Try to calm this busyness in your mind. Buy a meditation cd; count your breaths; observe without making evaluations or judgements an ob
Fifth, we have probably all been told that we are not good enough through our lives, we have been made to feel wrong about 'thinking this way', 'feeling this way', 'behaving this way'.......i'm here to tell you that you ARE good enough. Exactly as you are, with no equivocations. you have as much right to be you as anybody else has to be themselves.
You are a worthwhile person, be kind to yourself....
Ok, I think I'm done for now. Please leave me feedback and let me know if this kind of post is at all useful to you.
With love xxx