Recently Found Out I Have Bpd

Im a 21 year old college student in the medical field and i just recently found out i suffer from BPD. Ive been seeing my doctor monthly for the past 4 months and have been on medication for the past 3 of those months. I still don't know how i feel about all this. I guess i never really let it all out, but then again i never had anybody that understood how i feeling. My family brushes it off and says at least you're getting help which i guess it means its good... i don't really know. I have been reading about people talking about CBT and things like that... i have no clue what they are :( Im trying to help myself but doing it alone sucks. the medication has helped a bit, it changed how easy the anger came, now i don't get as mad as quickly. But I'm still bursting out in tears very easily. I feel bad pretty much all the time and i can't shake this thought that i am an effed up person that can't be saved. The doctor also said i had OCPD- a constant strive for control and perfection. Makes sense I've always been very hard on myself. I just want somebody to talk to, so maybe i can understand this, maybe i won't feel so alone.

Thanks for reading.
O' Sister by City And Color  - Song that my brother told me to listen to just after i told him i had BPD.
somethingwonderful somethingwonderful
18-21, F
2 Responses May 10, 2012

I had a friend, who too has BPD. But trust me, though he is sensitive....he is very very gentle from inside. & that's why he is my best friend too!! :) So, it clearly proves that you are very good from inside..Take it positively...& feel the change. Trust!

Thank You. At Times Im Happy To Finally Have A Diagnosis But At The Same Time Im Not Happy With It. I Mean When You Hear About BPD It Sounds So Taboo. Im Scared. I Feel People Will Treat Me Differently If They Know I Have It.