Recently Been Diagnosed

Not really sure what to say to be quite honest.

Finally got the diagnosis a few weeks ago, took about 10 years of seeing numerous amounts of psychologists, counsellors and psychiatrists to finally find out what is actually going on with me. I guess I always knew there was something wrong just didn't know what fully, I had done my own research but found it hard to say yeah that's me as I didn't want to be that sort of person that reads something and believes it if that makes sense.

Feel quite lost at the moment though, I have recently had to move in with my grandmother due to moving out of my home I shared with my partner, it was an abusive relationship and he contributed greatly to my behaviour. However, we have discussed the possibility of trying again once we have both established what we want - basically have a gap year of sorts. Just finding it hard at the moment, it has only been a week and I am already at the stage where I want to go back, even though I know I can't and kind of stuck now as well as I don't want to offend my grandmother by saying 'yeah thanks for the help but I am going' sort of thing. I normally wouldn't care, I really wouldn't I guess there must be some part of me that knows I can't go back just yet anyway???

Now I need to find a job, so I can some money behind me and get my life in order. But I am so scared of going for a job interview and having to explain that I do have a personality disorder and it could affect my work from time to time? Does anyone know any way of getting round that? My last job was understanding, but yet they fired me as I had one of my 'episodes' which was ridculous! But I guess everyone has that breaking point! I just don't know what to do for the best.

I miss what I had at home, and I want it back so much. But my ex partner can't understand what I go through, he says he wants to help but he doesn't even want to know. I actually managed to speak to him on the phone today though and explain the basic points of BPD, his reply was well that's like everyone. I just don't get his mentality or I am naive to the point he is actually trying to make?

I don't know what else to say to be honest.

enchantedjinx enchantedjinx
1 Response May 14, 2012

just what does bpd cause youto?what are the symptoms?it was once said if you don't know what to do,don't do any thing.stand still.good luck.