I Hate Having This!

It seems like one crappy day after the next, never feeling fully satisfied. I've tried doing things to make myself feel better, doing things with my day but I just end up feeling more tired and crappy than I did in the first place? Anyone else with bpd have troubles with motivation?
josiemaria90 josiemaria90
18-21
4 Responses May 16, 2012

I don't want to judge people but wouldn't you know it? One of my BPD symptoms includes complaining about someone or something for hours. This is when I am in my mood but it has made me horrible and negative too. I hate judging people but I am so guilty of doing it. Sometimes people have nothing better with their time than to make someone else feel bad because they hate themselves. Huh! Right? <br />
I am finishing up my internship and I think things are going great. I say this but you know inside I am doubting myself. Looking for a job won't be fun for me either. It isn't easy being rejected. If you could say all the right things. If there was a magic word. If you only knew the answer to the question, " Why should I choose you for this job?" <br />
It makes my head swim just thinking about it.

Im suppose to be looking for a job right now, but i just cant find the motivation to do it. And i know that when i do find one im not going to like it and im going to be even more miserable.

I've had too many jobs in the last 2 years I gave up a long time ago. If i get a job the chances are it will make me worse because i will feel like i'm being judged constantly, your not alone.

yes! and it feels like im constantly searching for something to fill the emptiness..its getting harder and harder...i hate having bpd...but at least i know whats wrong with me now and can start to figure out how to fix it

Yeah it's a start, I actually feel relieved now I know what is wrong with me, we just have to try and get all the help we can. :( I feel your pain

Yes. Actually, there's about 30 different things I should be doing right now and not one of them includes sitting at the computer. I feel your pain. Sometimes I just have to make myself, but it's really not easy at all.

Getting out of bed is hard enough lol I don't think i could manage doing 10 things in my day let alone 30.. don't be too hard on yourself