Is There Help?

I have been suffering from BPD my whole life it seems. I am married 8 years and have a 4 1/2 month old daughter. Since her birth I have been having a very hard time dealing with my emotions. It has gotten to the point where I'm ready to call it quits. If it were not for my daughter I would not be here anymore. My husband makes me feel like ****. I am not always pleasant & nice to him but I can not stand to be ignored, made fun of or, made to feel unimportant. I have been to therapy, on meds, smoke weed. I am at my last straw with this relationship....so sick & tired of being made to feel bad. No one understands me or why I hurt so bad. They think I couldn't possibly feel this way. Can someone please help. I can't take it anymore! My baby needs her mother.
bpdandababy bpdandababy
31-35, F
1 Response May 20, 2012

Thank you for your advice. I am trying to get into some kind of therapy, just got a letter from my insurance carrier stating they have no one available in network for over a year! Gotta pay a lot out of pocket & that's what's holding me up. But I like the idea of him going to see the doctor also. I asked him to join a group he could relate to on e p but he hasn't yet. Anyway,thanks.

Thanks I'll check it out. I found a site that I like called dbtselfhelp.com. Gonna try it out as well. I figure I'm aware I have a problem. Plus I was always a good student, maybe it will be good for me. Anyway, thanks!

Maybe there is a charitable counseling service in your area. In my experience with bpd, I found that since I already knew my diagnosis that talking with a down to earth licensed therapist was better for me. The shrinks seemed to full of themselves and stuffy for me. I am too stubborn for meds, after baby though, I def needed something, got off zoloft after a year, it made me like a zombie! Best wishes, you will figure it out. If nothing else then try positive self talk to yourself in the mirror a few times a day, called affirmations. Please at least try that. Phrases like: I am a good mom, I can feel good about myself and control my emotions, I can forgive and trust others and myself, tailor them to whatever area you need help in and change it up. I am strong, pretty, capable, confident.

Thank you for your comments. I think I will try your self-affirmations, sounds like it will help. I just need to keep myself from turning into the "monster". Good luck with therapy, hope you learn alot. Lots of <3 2 U!

My heart really goes out to you cause I was a mess for about two or three years after having Nate, my son. The bpd does not mix well with the postpardum depression, it is very rough. I used to smoke pot several times a day, except when preg and breastfeeding. I have cound after a couple mostly clean years that I am better off without it. The thc damages your frontal brain lobe, additionally your brain stops making the feel good hormone serotonin, that is why ot takes more and more to satisfy ones craving. In the first week or two after quitting you feel a little depressed, then comes the sleep problems. Overall, it has been easier to manage my bpd without the weed. Like everything it gets easier over time plus you have more money:)

That was, I have found. Lol not cound

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