Self-destruction

6 years is a long time.....i believe ur wife must be very understanding.....i knw easier said than done but when the time comes where u love her....show as much as u can. so much tht when the part of u tht hates her comes out...she will not leave u cos she knows how u realy feel n this is just a phase of feeling u knw....tlk to her about it...tell her tht u feel this hate n its not real however true u may make it seem. i undesrtnnd the burst of feelings tht r uncontrolable.....try to focus all tht enrgy on writing or drawing wat u feel than expresing it in words and actions...put it out som other way...so u will tire urself out of it....tc...n nytime we are all thre...the reason i joined hre too was cos i found it so nice tht thre were people hu cud understnd n suport me...cos they actuly knw wat i was going thru....i ddnt have to explain it...n defend my self for my pointless actions...