BPD

I was screwed up as a kid. Came from very abusive, manipulative home. All three parents talked about killing themselve when I was a kid.

I developed BPD, Adhd and social phobia. went to DBT got a somewhat better. no meds because meds don't seem to work with me very well.

hegyi1nj hegyi1nj
31-35, F
9 Responses Apr 17, 2007

Same here. Abusive mother, absent (abandoning father). I can't get through it, come through it, even it is was years ago it is the reality of today.

Seek therapy. Self-help tools. Some people make it. Keep believing. Be strong. You are a survivor.

I won't go into detail about my crappy upbringing but I will tell you that the woman that tortured me the most would take handfuls of pills to kill herself and when she laid on the floor with slobber coming out of her mouth, would ask me to call for an ambulance. So I ran and called every time she asked. This happened so many times I can't even count. She would tell the doctor that she has a reaction and get released the next day. Do you know how badly I wanted to just sit there and wait for her to die? I have PTSD and BPD because of this sick woman. Do not blame yourself for your diagnosis. It's not you, its them.

i was emotionally abandoned by my mom physically abandoned by my dad both were adoptive parents, i wish i wasraised in an orphanage these people had alot of dysfunction and i am sure i have some fuckedupness in my gene pool , it was an awful fit my first psych hospitalization wa sat 11 the next at 13 for the next 2 years! tied to bed in restraints for a week , put into aplace called a qr quiet room for 2 months..all i was was aseverley withdrawn depressed kid and they turned me into bpd

My dad worked all the time and my mum when she was there was manipulative and abusive, still is if i talk 2 her which I wont as she just makes me worse now. I have tried 5 different medications for depression, great, tried suicide on all of them and failed. i refuse any more medication now as I feel like they are just trying 2 fob me off. Have only been diagnosed 1 year but seen no one about it and when I mention that all I ever hear is we need 2 access u first. Ok, great, so u just want 2 c how long I can go till I do succeed in suicide then u can all go 'oops'. Unless bpd is treated no pills will help long term, that much I know. I feel the only treatment for bpd is 2 re-learn everything. Our disorder comes from the fact that our personalities where screwed up by the people who were supposed 2 care about us most, sadly they did a poor job and now we have 2 learn most things all over. I struggle most days with my bpd but on others im fine. I no that if I can learn 2 cope with the me I am now I will b better. i have a son who lives with his dad as I am unstable but I am terrified that my mental health is going 2 cause him 2 have problems 2. I love him and can never b sure if he loves me but I am going 2 do my best 2 try and b the best mum I can because the 1 thing I dont want 2 do is harm him so I have 2 stay strong same as every1 with bpd who gives half a crap does. Dr's can help but only if we help ourselves 2. I think all of us with children wonder if they love us or not some of the time, after all thats part of our condition. Just know you are doing everything you can for them and yourselves.

BPD JUST ******* SUCKS...

ME TOO, BUT WHAT DO U MEAN BY ALL THREE OF YOUR PARENTS? MY PARENTS WERENT SUICIDAL, BUT THEY WERE IN THERE WAYS MANIPULATIVE AND ABUSIVE.<br />
<br />
I HATE BPD...CUZ THERE IS NO MEDICATION FOR IT...I DO TAKE MEDS FOR OTHER MENTAL THINGS...I HAVE TO OR...I WOULDNT BE ALIVE.

sounds like we feel really similar, however i have to say that i havent done any therapy for this spacific illness. i have had cbt to treat my eating disorder but i am back at square one. didnt work. i also have severe social phobia and extreme anxiety issues and feel like i have faded away from any sense of normality to do with friendships and socialising. its so hard, i know.you just have to keep pushing through and believe that things will get better. hang in there

I was told recently that its hard to medicate a perosn with bpd, because its not like an imbalance but a part of the person ... ie their persoanlity. Its a relearning of something missing at diffrent parts of life.

I am starting DBT, Im in week 3, how was it for you?

My blessing are with you, stay strong!