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Can Someone Help Me??

I don't know actually... hence the reason I didn't join the group... But only recently I heard about BPD while taking personality disorder tests online out of curiosity. I took a few and every time I was told I have a high risk of BPD... I thought at first I just maybe had depression but now I think its something else.
All my life I have had paranoia about people doing things behind my back even though I know they are totally irrational, I have been suffering from depression for about 3 years now, suffer from extremely low self esteem, and I self mutilate a lot for about 2.5 years.
My parents think that all people like this are nutters so I can't talk to them about any of this and I really want to know whats wrong with me.
I just want some answers. I am tired of feeling from depressed to numb to bored to tired all the time and I would be most grateful if someone can give their opinion. Thanks!
Whalegirl Whalegirl 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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I feel regardless of what a docter will diagnose you with, that skills taught in dialectical behaviour therapy would be of great benefit to you from what you described about how you are feeling. And if you do have bpd- unlike alot of responses here, do not feel or think that u are doomed, like i see ppl say, i hope its not bpd, i pray for u, even if u have it, dont feel so bad about it- it can be overcome, and ppl diagnosed can go on to be happy, and live great lives,. i have bpd, and yes, it can be very debilating, and distressing, but there is hope, and feeling so bad about it dont help ppl in recovery, . so even if, dont worry, u are strong, and u can heal from whatever u may be diagnosed with

I suppose you were referring to my reply, since there are no others besides yours here. I never said she was doomed and that is just how you percieved what I wrote. If she does have bpd, it is kinda silly but still nice to say don't worry, cause that is what bpd people do. I simply told her that I hope she confronts whatevrr the issue is soon as these things can be more difficult to overcome as one gets older. Hurting herself by cutting for years would be a travesty.

Why is it kinda silly to say dont worry about it??? maybe your the one thats kinda silly. Should she instead worry about it if she does have bpd?? im sure worrying is going to help her to feel good and heal, worry helps with all sorts of problems, dont it, lol, your the ones whos comments are silly.

the problem should be deaLT WITH, not worried about, worrying gets noone, nowhere

your advice shows me your know little about this issue(cos that is what bpd ppl do), u are dumb and ignorant toward us bpd ppl, and if your have it yourself, you do not even understand it.

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I would leave any personality testing up to a professional though and do not be so quick to believe an online pers test. Hopefully, it is wrong! It may just be a hormonal, issue, but the self mutilation is very alarming and must be dealt with, since you are asking for opinions and advice.

I think you need to speak with a professional, school guidance counselor, anyone that will listen and take you seriously and hopefully not judge you, like you seem to think your parents will. I have bpd, I am 36, and I dont want you to end up using precious years of your life feeling this way and hurting yourself. Although it can be done, it gets much more difficult as you get older yo change and unlearn distorted thinking that is associated with the disorder. luckily, it usually gets better with age. I have been in therapy a long time but I am no expert. Ask around and post a question, if you feel safe doing so, about what self help books people on ep liked the most for bpd, then buy it. If you cannot afford it then ask someone you can trust to buy it for you or do an odd job to pay it off, maybe an hour or two of housecleaning. Add me to your circle if you want and you can ask me anything. I wish you all the best!

thank you :)