And My Best Friend Just "dumped" Me.

i guess it's the typical borderline story, right? i love my best friend with all of my heart, in that heart-wrenching and painful way, sometimes. she's tired of caring for me when i'm hurt from things that she does. we've been intensely close for years now, since we were twelve or so, and i'm now eighteen.

we're rooming together in college now. i found out through intuition (mostly just knowing her very well) that she arranged to have sex with the guy that i have a crush on -- fully aware of what it would mean to me if i found out. i told her that i was crushed, couldn't believe that she could do something like that to me, didn't know if i would be able to get through it. she told me that she was TIRED and SICK of coddling me, and worrying about me in everything that she does. that she was finally going to do something just for herself.

i don't know how to respond. i want to get angry at her--i AM angry at her--but i can't yell at her. i know if i end up letting it all out that i'm going to completely ruin our friendship and it means so damn much to me. it means THE WORLD to me. but i also know that i can't just let something like this happen.

i don't know where to go from here. i'm lonely. i'm so lonely without her even though she's only a few feet from me in the room over.

how do i get over this?

can i even try to keep the friendship?
pureheart9 pureheart9
18-21, F
3 Responses Sep 17, 2012

Wow, it seems like well can relate to losing a close friendship. It does hurt like hell especially if it caught you off guard. But it happens to the best of us, that is just part of life. It feels like the end of the world for us( people suffering with BPD). Once we find someone that make us feel like they can deal with our PERSONALITY we don't want that to ever go away, we become extremely attached, not just anybody knows how to deal with us. Are we trying to be difficult or become a burden to others? Most of us are trying to help ourselves but need that big boost of support. I no longer have my best friends, they are now best friends after I introduced them. Its a long story and I will write about it. But sweetie, yes it hurts, you know your personality, if your a forgiving person Forgive her. It happened you may not ever get the reall answer, but people make mistakes, let her know that this mistake , your choice has broke my heart. But forgive and move on. You don't need someone in your life who doesn't want to be an adult and own up to what she did. She is not a bad person, she just mad a bad choice. But focus on yourself right now, your health and school. That is really important and no one can take that away from you. I hope this helped if, if not let me know,take care I am here to talk to I have been through a lot .....

I cant tell you how much this story relates to me. I find that being friend with girls is very scary, because not only have they all let me down and hurt me, they have scared me to never let myself do it again. I'm not mean to other girls I still say hi and all, but I purposely don't go there. And for awhile I thought being friends with guys would work. Nope, most likely they just really want one thing.

Sorry to say from what you have posted here she does not appear to appreciate the friendship you both share otherwise she would not be doing what she is and she would not have reacted in the manner that she has.
Personally I have lost friends that meant so much to me and let me tell you it hurts like hell.Some may say I am a Man and should not show emotion.It is the way I have been made,it is in my dna,I couldn't help getting close to some so called friends however I did and was let down on several occasions.Even to this day I have no idea why a couple of them dropped me.
I have changed since my depression episode.I am so careful of letting others get too close to me anymore,I have built up a brick wall around my character,I will not allow others to hurt me anymore.
I hope you can find a solution to your situation however I feel this friend is more concerned for herself and your feelings do not matter to her.