My Struggle With Bpd

Lately I have felt so suicidal and empty. No matter how hard I try (I've even sought out the help of a bpd specialist) I just can't seem to shake my episodes. The littlest things my boyfriend does will cause me to feel so lonely and abandoned. The splitting really affects our relationship from time to time...even if i don't vocalize my feelings he can tell my shift in mood. I really feel hopeless. I'm depressed, anxious, and am constantly dissociating. I am also self injuring in times of extreme stress, though I have told my boyfriend that I have stopped. i have been cutting since the age of six to help cope with a childhood of emotional and sexual abuse that lasted until the age of 19 when i left my parent;s home. I currently do not have any family members I speak to and feel very isolated. I am trying to go back to school to finish my masters in social work, but I worry that ,y borderline will continue to get in the way.
canzolletti canzolletti
18-21, F
Nov 26, 2012