Gets Better With Age?

One thing that I've been told and am honestly sick of hearing is that "things will get better as you get older". I have heard this my whole life and it is really getting old... I have a hard time believing that my BPD will diminish with age... I am the youngest of my DBT group... and there are several in their 40's and one even in her late 60's. Kinda disproves the theory to me... and it doesnt sound like things get much better.
crimsonmoonfox crimsonmoonfox
22-25, F
4 Responses Nov 28, 2012

Radical Acceptance and turning the mind...

My bpd....has gotten more....dark. there is much more depth to it....BUT i went through 3 years of treatment as an adolescent where i spent MANY MANY hours in CBT and DBT. Ive read COUNTLESS books...HOURS AND HOURS of research, tons of therapy. and. i can say, that between DBT and medication. i am more stable today then i have been in my whole life...So though it has gotten more dark (i think because my mind is so damn creative like the bpd mind can be) and so much more intense.....i have mass control over it. ...but not completely. My first suicide attempt was when i was 15....my last one was 2 years ago at 21. Becuase i have been through so much therapy and bull ****...what i have learned in the last year and a half is that the less attention i give to my bpd the less i hyper focus on the fact that everything i ****** do is a symptom or sign of it. Basically there was a day i woke up and decided i am really really sick of being the unstable borderline personality girl. I have it, i will for years to come i am sure, but i dont have to live each day acting out each characteristic of it to its fullest extent, i DO have self control. ...it takes a lot of letting go of my insecurities...listening to all of my fears and doubts and then just letting them go. i had one therapist describe my thoughts as rainy nasty black clouds. (i live in seattle) let it roll in full force....BUT. you HAVE to watch the cloud roll OUT too once you have honestly looked at your thought and acknowledged it. people with BPD feel misunderstood right? thats what we hear...we also need to realize, we misunderstand our selves too. we are the greatest liers and exaggerator we will ever meet. (at least in our heads.) we torture ourselves. I hate my borerline self, she is obnoxious and DRAMATIC...a downer, sad, dark, depressing just LAME. thats not how i WANT to be...so WORK towards putting for as much self aware control can with my mind. When my mind starts to race...and boy does my mind ****** RACE! ..and i catch myself...i will sometimes say out loud STOP! or in my head pretend to scream it. and say JUST RELAX FOR CRYING OUT LOUD...and i think of black. nothing. black....the back of my eye lids black. If you work the DBT and if you understand the DBT it WILL help you. Marcia Linehan created especially for BPD. .....i dont believe BPD will ever go away completely!!! not a chance....in those of that is appears it has, that is because they learned mass mind control. it CAN get better, but it is YOU WHO CONTROLS IF IT DOES. ....and medication helps take the edge off the mood swings. ...be patient, with yourself. every single day is different, and is a struggle in its self. be patient with your self and your very limited days.

If you dont do the dialectical behavior therapy u wont learn how to live without it. They could be misdiagnosed also, but i am 26 now, had bpd my whole life and its definitely getting better. Hang in there, do your part

awesome. glad to hear!!

heh, this line.. is the major reason i don't like to tell people anymore. i keep hearing it from people that just don't want to deal with it, or people who think i'm exaggerating. i have been hearing it since i was a child and unfortunately.. in over 20 years, nothing has gotten better, i just keep getting worse.

they're wrong! scream it if you have to!

I promise you if u hard work you can make small changes that add up. Ive been eorking hard and i no longer cut, drink, attempt suicide, and my impulsivity is much more controlled. I still ruin all my relationships, have a spending problem and my emotions are changing frequently still, but you really can do it!! I will help you.y