Emotional Wreck!If someone was to ask me how I'm feeling right now I'd probably say "i don't think there's a word for this emotion".
i spent the evening in bed crying and i have no idea WHY!
2 hours later i found myself giving a subconscious somewhat harsh pep talk to myself to get up and stop being pathetic, so i dragged myself out of my bed, wiped away my tears and decided to follow the noise of laughter downstairs and join the rest of my family.
i didn't even last 5 minutes... I've never felt so out of place! seeing the smiles on their faces and trying so hard to join into one of the million conversation topics flying across the room, in addition to faking a smile so hard that my face began to ache...I FELT LIKE A COMPLETE FOOL! >.<
So i got up and walked off upstairs, slumped back into my bed and carried on crying till i fell asleep...it's the only thing that felt normal.
no one should have to put so much effort into being a part of their own family, it shouldn't be so difficult should it?