I Have Borderline Personality Disorder
Surrounded by so many people, if anyone was to look at me they would think i'm normal but i wonder what they would think if they knew what was going through my mind?
A group of friends together just hanging out and talking and one asks "whats the first thing you think of when you see snow?"...there were many answers such as snowmen, snowballs, winter, you know the obvious ones....
but my retarded and messed up mind thinks of "i wonder what it would feel like to jump off a really high building and hit the ground covered in snow"....i mean really? i'm not normal in any sense, but then again who is? so i give the least worrying answer i can think of and say "cold".
some of the things i think of may seem weird and worrying to others, but to me it's all normal...in my head it's exactly how people should think. Only a few people know what goes on in my mind (my dad and my therapist being two of them)...i love it when they say with the right medication and help you'll feel better and get back to normal...yet they don't seem to see it from my perspective, i don't feel like anything is wrong with me, it's just how my mind works.
they want me to be "normal" and have interests in music, art, boys anything that is "normal" by there standards, but that's just not me. URGH i hate the word NORMAL!
does everyone have to think and feel the same way?
just my experience of the day sorry for the waffling!
A group of friends together just hanging out and talking and one asks "whats the first thing you think of when you see snow?"...there were many answers such as snowmen, snowballs, winter, you know the obvious ones....
but my retarded and messed up mind thinks of "i wonder what it would feel like to jump off a really high building and hit the ground covered in snow"....i mean really? i'm not normal in any sense, but then again who is? so i give the least worrying answer i can think of and say "cold".
some of the things i think of may seem weird and worrying to others, but to me it's all normal...in my head it's exactly how people should think. Only a few people know what goes on in my mind (my dad and my therapist being two of them)...i love it when they say with the right medication and help you'll feel better and get back to normal...yet they don't seem to see it from my perspective, i don't feel like anything is wrong with me, it's just how my mind works.
they want me to be "normal" and have interests in music, art, boys anything that is "normal" by there standards, but that's just not me. URGH i hate the word NORMAL!
does everyone have to think and feel the same way?
just my experience of the day sorry for the waffling!
By:
VoicelessVoid
Age:
18-21
,
Female
1
response
