I'm having trouble figuring myself out, who I am or what I want to be. I'm trying to make friends and keep them and have something more than what I know I'm not happy with now. I'm very depressed, I'm confused, I'm unable to see the positive side of things. It's scaring me because it just happened out of the blue and I'm not sure why or how. I've been trying to push through this like I usually do but it seems to be getting harder and harder. I talked to my grandmother, I've talked to my psychiatrist and I've tried talking to other people as well... But this time nothing is working. This time it's way worse, way way worse, I am tired and weak and slow and I'm having trouble feeling anything but a sense of emptiness and a lack of happiness. I've just been noticing these small details in everything that I see or hear, every little detail has some significance but I feel that maybe that's not the way it's meant to be. I also feel that when I try to explain to people what's going on I can't word it right, because they all keep saying "what do you mean?"...I really don't know anymore, I'm worried. I had basically pushed a lot of people away, told them I'm going through something and that I don't want to drag them into the situation, I just don't want to hurt people. Anyways, I joined this site in the hopes that I could communicate with people who can relate in some way. Thanks for reading.