I Have Borderline Personality Disorder
I have been dating and even engadged to Missy for 18 months. She is now 7 months pregnant and broken up with me for probably the 12th time. I have had a very difficult time understanding what is wrong with our relationship untill I started reading about personality disorders and found BPD. I do not know for sure if she has this but she has had me on a roller coaster for a long time and now I am worried what is in store for our son when he is born and what I will deal with in negotiating time with him or custody. Here is what I do know:
One day I am told by her that I am the greatest guy on earth and with only a minor infraction usually dealing with I am training too much for the Ironman Triathlon or stayed at work too late. I am then the worst man that ever lived calling me selfish and self centered.
When she feels slighted I am accused of never ever doing one thing for her!
When accused of being a bad person she uses always and never.
When I have started reading about BPD she now reads about narcissism and says that is what I am.
When she gets angry she is brutally mean verbally or in text.
She has never trusted me and continually breaks into my email or fb accounts and thens lies that she did it. When she is caught she says all girls do this.
She was very very promiscuous in the past and it bothers me that she sent many very pornagraphic pictures off herself to many men in the past and they continue to be her friends and she thinks this is normal.
She was addicted to pain killers several years ago but says that she is cured.
She is 36 and still lives at home with her mom and her 12 year old daughter.
When she is angry at me she will cut off communication for days but when she comes back sometimes it is like nothing ever happened.
She has trouble socializing unless she knows someone well.
When things are good, she is probably the most loving and fun girl I have ever been with.
In this last breakup she has gone through a big Christian transformation. I am a strong Christian man but I am also a sinner. She now has written that we will never work because I am not a strong Christian and there is this perfect man that God has planned for her and she only feels sorry for me because I am a narcissist and lost.
She is posting on FB that I have never done anything for her or our baby and that I have left her in this desperate time. I responded by posting that she is a silly girl I am still here and love her but it is hard to do anything for her when she has cut off all comunication for weeks. She was furious.
She confessed recently that she is ************ 4 times a day and many times with ****.
She wanted an abortion but I fought her and convinced her we could make it work.
At first she said she wanted to give him up for adoption and when I said I wanted him she now is posting and showing everyone how excited she is to have another baby.
When we were first dating I came home late from work one night when we were supposed to go eat. I called to tell her I was going to be late. She got so mad she told me to forget about going out that night. I responded negative but was still thinking we would see eachother. She called later to tell me she was going to another mans house and she had been drinking and something might happen. I could not reach her that night and when I finally did the next morning she admitted they had sex. We broke up and I forgave her and took her back after a couple of months.
At this point I have accepted that she is gone and now i'm making preparations for a life that will mean fighting for or negotiating time with my son.
Questions:
Is she BDP?
Are these things consistent with BDP?
I have not read much about BDP hacking into someones email?
Would a relationship with her ever work?
Does the strong change to Christianity mean anything?
If BPD is there any chance to peacefully negotiate for time with my son?
Would a BPD person try to hurt an ex with manipulation of their kid?
How could I get her in to be diagnosed?
She says there is nothing wrong with her. If she is BPD does she know something is wrong and just denies it?
Help Please!
One day I am told by her that I am the greatest guy on earth and with only a minor infraction usually dealing with I am training too much for the Ironman Triathlon or stayed at work too late. I am then the worst man that ever lived calling me selfish and self centered.
When she feels slighted I am accused of never ever doing one thing for her!
When accused of being a bad person she uses always and never.
When I have started reading about BPD she now reads about narcissism and says that is what I am.
When she gets angry she is brutally mean verbally or in text.
She has never trusted me and continually breaks into my email or fb accounts and thens lies that she did it. When she is caught she says all girls do this.
She was very very promiscuous in the past and it bothers me that she sent many very pornagraphic pictures off herself to many men in the past and they continue to be her friends and she thinks this is normal.
She was addicted to pain killers several years ago but says that she is cured.
She is 36 and still lives at home with her mom and her 12 year old daughter.
When she is angry at me she will cut off communication for days but when she comes back sometimes it is like nothing ever happened.
She has trouble socializing unless she knows someone well.
When things are good, she is probably the most loving and fun girl I have ever been with.
In this last breakup she has gone through a big Christian transformation. I am a strong Christian man but I am also a sinner. She now has written that we will never work because I am not a strong Christian and there is this perfect man that God has planned for her and she only feels sorry for me because I am a narcissist and lost.
She is posting on FB that I have never done anything for her or our baby and that I have left her in this desperate time. I responded by posting that she is a silly girl I am still here and love her but it is hard to do anything for her when she has cut off all comunication for weeks. She was furious.
She confessed recently that she is ************ 4 times a day and many times with ****.
She wanted an abortion but I fought her and convinced her we could make it work.
At first she said she wanted to give him up for adoption and when I said I wanted him she now is posting and showing everyone how excited she is to have another baby.
When we were first dating I came home late from work one night when we were supposed to go eat. I called to tell her I was going to be late. She got so mad she told me to forget about going out that night. I responded negative but was still thinking we would see eachother. She called later to tell me she was going to another mans house and she had been drinking and something might happen. I could not reach her that night and when I finally did the next morning she admitted they had sex. We broke up and I forgave her and took her back after a couple of months.
At this point I have accepted that she is gone and now i'm making preparations for a life that will mean fighting for or negotiating time with my son.
Questions:
Is she BDP?
Are these things consistent with BDP?
I have not read much about BDP hacking into someones email?
Would a relationship with her ever work?
Does the strong change to Christianity mean anything?
If BPD is there any chance to peacefully negotiate for time with my son?
Would a BPD person try to hurt an ex with manipulation of their kid?
How could I get her in to be diagnosed?
She says there is nothing wrong with her. If she is BPD does she know something is wrong and just denies it?
Help Please!
By:
Ratherbeonwater
Age:
51-55
,
Male
9
responses
