Military Excuse?

I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder 7 years ago. I'm usually pretty trusting of my doctors' diagnoses, but I have a lot of doubts when it comes to this one just based on some of the details of how I was diagnosed. So here's my story.

I was in the US Navy, I was pregnant, unmarried, and 600 miles away from my family for the first time in my life. Shortly after I found out that I was pregnant, I miscarried and my then boyfriend decided to dump me for fear that I might become pregnant again despite the fact that I ended up pregnant as a result of his foolish idea to use a rubber that had been in his car all winter next to the heater. I admit I was very distraught the night that everything happened. I went from expecting a baby and having a man I thought loed me, to being very alone. So I went out drinking. I drank half a quart of vodka with a splash or orange juice...I weighed 115lbs, too.

I went back to my room still very drunk. I was depressed and drunk, so I took 6 Tylenol with codeine. A friend came to my room to check on me because I had come home crying. She came in because I had forgotten to shut the door all the way and found me sitting on the floor with the empty pill bottle in front of me. I can't remember much after that except being very itchy in the ambulance, and two nurses putting a tube up my nose and forcing me to take charcoal.

I woke up in a wheel chair in what looked like a doctor's office. I was wheeled into this man's office and he asked me some questions about my family history and why I took the pills. I really didn't have an answer other than I was feeling depressed because I lost my pregnancy and my boyfriend dumped me, but I didn't think I would have taken the pills if I had not been so drunk. I asked to see another doctor after the diagnosis and before I even sat down he straight out told me he would not reverse the first doctor's diagnosis. I said, "I see. Can I speak to someone else?" to which he said, "No. Stop making trouble. I trust Dr. -------, and I know he made an accurate diagnosis." So what could I do? I left.

I don't think I display any of the signs and symptoms of BPD. My mood is pretty stable...I only have anxiety now that is related to astraphobia. I have lots of friends and get along with them consistently. I'm not impulsive, as evidenced by being faithful to my husband despite his abuse, continuing with my college education (I'm almost done), I don't binge or spend a lot of money. I'm not an angry person and, like I said before, my mood is pretty stable. The only meds I take to straighten me out are for anxiety. I take Paxil, Wellbutrin to ombat the sexual side effects of Paxil, Desyrel at night to combat the insomnia from the Paxil, and Klonopin as needed for panic attacks. 

Do I really have BPD? Or do I just have anxiety and the military decided to label me with BPD to give them an excuse to discharge me?  

Della21 Della21
26-30
9 Responses Mar 22, 2009

The Navy diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder after I caught someone attacking my girlfriend. I broke both his arms, broke a leg then threw him out a second story window. I drink socially then will go on a two week bender waking and not knowing where I am at. I have slit my arms open from wrist to forarm, lengthwise. I have tried every known drug, made a living hustling pool. and have had times I'd soon kill someone that wrongs me as look at them. This is probably BPD you I'd get a second opinon.

It seems to me that the so-called experts are all-too willing to put everyone into a pigeon hole.<br />
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In the UK, out health service is driven by government targets.<br />
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Many of us don't FIT a pigeon hole, so our problems are manipulated, so that we can be fitted into whatever hole is needed for the boxes to be ticked..<br />
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When my mother died in 2004, I plunged into a major depression and hit the bottle hard.<br />
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I tried to get help, but I didn't fit into any convenient category.<br />
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AA was of no help, nor was the Alcohol Advisory Service.<br />
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What I needed was to be able to talk to a counsellor who specialised in grief counselling, but I was fobbed off with a list phone numbers for services that no longer existed.<br />
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Eventually, I was prescribed an anti-depresssant, but it made me ill.<br />
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After six months of feeling worse by the day, I begged my doctor to wean me off the drug. <br />
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He, however, said that I hadn't given it long enough and advised me to carry on for at least a further six months.<br />
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I took an overdose - out of sheer desperation - in January of 2005 and was referred to the psych unit of the local hospital......<br />
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What a waste of time that was!<br />
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I was assessed by a senior psychiatric nurse - who decided that my problems were a temporary aberration that didn't need the attention of either a psychiatrist or a counsellor.<br />
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I was sent on my way with a card bearing the phone number of the Samaritans. End of stpory......<br />
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I've had to deal with my problems by myself and with the support of my husband - who gets worn down by it all.<br />
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I get very low these days, since I became disabled and housebound, but I have to cope.<br />
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Della, I'm glad that you feel that EP has been of help to you.<br />
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It's saved my sanity on many an occasion.<br />
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There are good people here, who are happy to listen and offer what support they can.<br />
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Keep faith with us, Della.<br />
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Wherever your life takes you, my thoughts and prayers are with you.<br />
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Add me to your EP circle if you'd like to.<br />
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I'm always happy to talk.<br />
<br />
Meggi. x

Thank you so much for all the replies. Especially Meggi with sharing so many details of your own struggles. I think I might go see a therapist and see what I'm told. I thought it was pretty odd that they refused to let me go to therapy while I was still there for 3 months awaiting discharge. I guess they figured if I went to therapy the therapist would figure out that I didn't have a personality disorder. <br />
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I still need the meds. They are for anxiety. However, I won't need to take them for long because I know the origin of my anxiety. I never had astraphobia or any anxiety before I moved in with my husband. I should have called the domestic violence hotline a long time ago. I worried about not having a future or being able to go to school. So I've dealt with it for 3 years and in September I'm leaving him. I will probably go to a woman's shelter until I can afford my own place, which shouldn't be too hard to do because I'll be a registered nurse by then.<br />
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I feel so glad that I'm not the only one who thinks I don't have BPD. It stunned me when I was told the diagnosis because I had watched that movie "Girl, Interrupted" and Wynona Rider's character had BPD and I thought, "I'm not at all like that." I thought maybe there was more to it, but when I look it up online I still don't see any of those traits in me. I think if I had the emotional strength that a lot of people with BPD have, I would not be in the situation I'm in.<br />
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I might try to fight this after I finish school. I never had the confidence to do it, but I haven't told anyone about it until now. I hope you're all right. I didn't want to leave the Navy, I enjoyed it. So if I an get reinstated, or even compensated, that would be great.

you're not borderline. you had a bad night. one. not the endless cycle that actual borderlines go through. be thankful, and get off the damn meds. they screw with your head worse than the disorders do.

Nothing awesome about what I said.<br />
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All these years on, I'm a mess.<br />
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I'm disabled and in constant physical pain.<br />
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My life as I knew it, is over.<br />
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I can't bear to see another person in emotional pain.

backjack.<br />
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I just told the truth.<br />
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Sometimes truth is more than you can invent.........

I don't think you have a personality disorder, Della.<br />
I think you simply reacted to a despearte situation.<br />
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Without going into the long, boring details, I did something very similar, years ago, and was categorised as attention-seeking.<br />
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All too often, the professionals have to fit us all into pigeon holes, ticking off lists of symptoms and criteria - sometimes to meet targets, sometimes to continue to receive funding.<br />
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Many years ago, my elder son was branded hyperactive and educationally sub-normal, because he displayed a few destructive tendencies.<br />
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His school insisted that he be assessed by a child psychologist.<br />
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It was a nightmare!<br />
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This man never spoke to my son, but instead, grilled me on my life history, insisted that my mother, with whom we lived, be grilled also - and concluded that me son had no problems that weren't directly attributable to the sexual frustrations of my mother and myself......<br />
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It took the arrival in the school of a new teacher, who spotted a tendency in my son to react disruptively only in given situations and who suggested that I take my son to a friend of his from college - a psychologist, specialising in hyperactivity.<br />
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this man spent hours talking to my son and actually observing him in school - and concluded that far from being educationally sub-normal, my son had a higher than average IQ and was being held back by being forced into the common stream. In essence, he was bored.<br />
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Given more challenging assignments, he was able to focus and thus settled down.<br />
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Get another opinion!

You're probably right. Go to webMD and put in the symptoms of what was going on and see what comes up. <br />
Always get another opinion. google the diagnosis and look at the qualifications for the problem.<br />
<br />
elaine

I'd go get another opinion personally, and don't stop till you get stuff worked out.