Help Me Please

Someone please help me!

I have borderline personality disorder, depression, anyiety attacks, pannic attacks, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, chronic fatigue.

I am totally flipping out! This is the worst I have ever been. I need help and I dont know what to do. Im afraid to go to the hospital. I hate medication it makes me sick. and my xhusband is just constantally trying to prove my son should be taken away from me. Im a great mom! he just knows i have mental problems and wants to use that against me. he is bitter that i divorced him after 17years. he is the main cause of allot of my physical and mental issues.

I have been divorced 2yrs. I was seperated 2years before that. I started dating a guy, "H", a year and half ago. we have been breaking up for several months. H moved 2 hours away in feburary. H said he didnt want to see me anymore but he wont stop calling me all this time. I blew up his phone the otherday calling and leaving messages. I have got so depressed. I miss him. I am without a job. and dont know how to pay my bills. anyway h told me he didnt want to talk to me anymore and changed his phone number. I am going crazy!!!!!!!

H is the only man I have ever really loved. Yes I was married 17years but i hated my x. I talked to H aunt just a min ago and she said he was seeing someone else. OMG! I am so hurt! I cant stop crying!!! H was the only good thing besides my childred that I ever known. He made me feel so loved. Ive never felt that before. My mind is out of control. Bad Bad thoughts running through it. It wont stop.

I dont know what to do.

wolfCry wolfCry
41-45
Mar 27, 2009