Does anyone have the same feelings...
When your boyfriends done something wrong or got himself into trouble you feel like everything's changed? You don't know what to think, feel or say? Does it mean they can't change? x
rubyflower4 rubyflower4
26-30, F
1 Response May 30, 2015

I used to feel like that all the time. I used to get so angry with him, I was putting my life, dreams and hopes on hold for him and he wasn't changing (that's what I thought) in the end, after 14months of waiting I gave up as I felt he wasn't willing to change and seek the help he needed

I don't know what to think. I've had the sorrys today, how many times can you take it? Don't get me wrong this is the first real trouble his got himself in after being inside for 18 months - but he shouldn't be in there getting into more trouble. All his actions affect us, we don't know how this will affect parole so it could be even longer now. It's hard to stay positive when they do something wrong... Where do you go from here? X

I know what you mean. With my ex he sold drugs while inside, he got into so many fights he was charged with assault too. It's a very hard situation when you love someone like this. I gave up, I wanted him to try and get the help. I was hoping me walking away from him would push him into getting the help, seeing the last person who's stood by him walk away - but it didn't. He's still getting into trouble. I think he won't change. Everyone is different, and I'm sure you'll know within yourself when it's time to let go even if it's hard, you may never need to let go but if you do you'll know

Right now I don't know what to do, heads saying enough is enough but my heart is full of love. I think he does need to realise i can't keep going through this, it's hard enough already let alone when he messes up. I won't leave him, but I do think we need a break. Do you know if they do something wrong just the one time does it put parole into a no go? x

The rules here in Scotland are probably different to over there. Here the prison officers write everything down for the parole board and when their parole time comes around they look at everything that they've done, good and bad and they make their decision like that. With my ex's case it will affect his parole.

I think a break will be good for you. That was my intentions with my ex but I never got back with him, tbh once I ended things it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders

I don't know how they work in England, I do think it's one rule for one and another rule for others. I don't want to give up on him but feel like his given me no choice. I love him so, so much but just don't know. This only happened a few days ago so everything's still up in the air x

Ahh you're in England. Rules aren't too much different there compared to here. Depending on how serious the crime is depends on if it'll be held against him or not. If it only happened a few days ago then I think you should give it some time so you can adjust to it and see how you feel after that

Well his in for a violent offence, what his in trouble isn't anything to do with violence, he was found with drugs in his cell - it's just being let down. His let himself down and me.

It really is a hard situation, it's up to you at the end of the day. I honestly was madly inlove with my ex even after his charge which was a very horrible charge. Letting go was bet for me, but it may be different for you

I can't just walk away, but I need him to realise things won't carry on if he makes more bad choices.. He has around 30 months left to do before parole and could be in open conditions in 15-20months. I just hope this one mistake is the only one he makes now, I can't see parole holding it against him especially if he does the right things, and stays on the right track. When they do something it makes you doing every single thing x

I understand. You should speak to him, tell him you can't do it anymore if he's not willing to change

He knows how I feel, maybe everything happens for a reason and this is another learning curb....? x

It could be hey

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