My Boyfriend Cheated On Me. Then He Promised He'll Changed. I'm Confused. I Don't Know What To Do :'(

i had a boyfriend and we're 1 and 2month's old. he was my classmate in grade school and childhood crush and after not seeing each other for 10 years we've meet again in our batch reunion. he confessed that he like me ever since grade school.after 2 days of courtship i said yes to him.  I've kept my virginity sacred for so many years but thinking that maybe his finally the one for me - i gave it to him. i thought he would be proud that i gave him my precious treasure but he made me feel that it was not that important to him. i was hurted but i just kept quiet.  for the next month he was different. i feel as if  i was the only one with all the effort in making our relationship work. my friends said he's so lucky to have me and that i'm too good for him but then i love him so much to let go. he never asked me out for a date. usually if we go out it's with his friends and they drink a lot and i'm the one who usually pay for his part. i was crying and hurting most of the time for his negligence towards our relationship. but every time his sweet to me like in my birthday when he cooked and gave me flowers - it just make my heart melt. those are just rare occasions where he is sweet to me and i treasure every minute of it. i confronted him about my feelings and he told me he'll changed and that he love me so much he can't take losing me. so i fought for our relationship. i've seen changes in him. and he even introduced me to his family and his family liked me. i was close to his family since then. but 14 days before we will celebrate our 1st year anniversary. i found out he cheated on me. with a girl who befriended me.  and i was so nice to the girl. i was so blind that their relationship is already a month old. i asked why he did it to me when i was trying to be a perfect girlfriend to him. he told me "you are too good, that's why i cheated".i really didn't understand. his friends - whom i trusted knew about their secret relationship but not one confronted me. i broke up with him but he just won't let me go. he promised me he'll changed. and because i love him so much. i gave him another try. Now, his extra sweet, caring and thoughtful. His doing the things I’ve always wished he’ll do months ago.  But for now I can’t trust him anymore. Everything he say and do becomes questionable to me.  and I was then a different person. When I’m mad at him I’m saying vulgar and unethical words which I don’t usually say even if I’m mad. Im losing my demeanor and bearing because of him. But I love him so much and all this times I’m still hoping he’ll change for me. for us!
But well he changed? And I really  want to regain my old self. I don’t want to be hurting anymore. I love him but I really want to let him go but I just can’t.. help me please.
Pfaye Pfaye
1 Response May 20, 2012

Aww I understand what you are going through. My first love cheated on me too. He apologized and tried to win me back. He got me back and he did change a lot. He didn't cheat on me anymore, but because he did that one time, things were different. I didn't trust him much and eventually I lost feelings. I always say that the first time that a person cheats on you, it isn't your fault. After that it is your fault because you made the decision to give it another try. I think that if you can not trust him anymore, let him go. You will not be happy. Yes people make mistakes and some do really change. It is up to you. If you are hurting, then let it go. Yes it will hurt a lot and it will be hard to get over him, but you can do it. You will get over him.