My Ex Fiancee, Still Doesn't Register As An Ex To My Heart. 3

So I met this guy through a friend a little over two years ago. His name was Collin, he was 20, handsome, tall, just the right amount of dangerous, and all together just wonderful. We started out as friends and things grew and grew between us. He asked me if I would be his girl and I accepted. We hardly got to see each other at all for the longest time. We talked through emails, texts, calls, Facebook, and such. Finally around January of last year 2012, he came over and my heart fluttered like a hummingbird's wings and pounded like the stomps of elephants alike. My heart beat slowed and sped up at the same instant. I wasn't sure what this feeling was at first, I just had to explore it.
We were together every chance we got after that. Every other weekend I stayed at his place and every weekend in between he stayed at mine. I realized.....I Was Falling In Love! He always called me his Angel, he protected me like he was my Guardian! We went through so much together. I was a senior in high school at this time and so he went to my senior prom with me. I wore a white dress that had a corset top and a gorgeous full bloom floor length skirt to it. He told me I looked like an angel that day and that I was glowing with beauty. He was my Prince Charming, my Knight in Shining Armor! I loved him with all my heart! My ever smile, my every look, my every move reflected how much I love and care for that man.
Collin always told me how he felt and what was going on in his life. He has a daughter that he can't see because her mom is a *****. The best thing is his daughter's name was the same as mine. All I wanted to do was be there for him and for her. I wanted to be her mother figure that would show her how to treat her daddy right. I never got to meet her but I was going to help my Love fight for his daughter, his flesh and blood. He always told me that the only thing he would EVER consider more important than me was his daughter. I believed it. Every way he looked at me or touched me was electric.
In March, we were visiting with my family. We went to the library in my town and I was searching for a good romance novel to read. I was in the middle of reading an excerpt from the book and he said, "Gabby..." I held a finger up and said "Hold on I'm almost done with this part." He tapped my arm and said "No, Gabby, look at me." I sighed in exasperation, and turned to him, "Wha...." my question lost in thought....He was holding out a ring.....He smiled, "Gabrielle, will you marry me?" I was speechless....He smiled even bigger "Not the reaction I was expecting babe. You kinda need to answer." a small laugh. I looked into his eyes and started crying, "Yes! Yes of course I will!" We were happy, I was ecstatic! I just knew nothing could go wrong....but I didn't see what was coming. His mood changed durastically over the next few weeks and he got grouchy and rude....
I was wrapping up my senior year and got a job at a factory. I was going to pay for a lawyer with that money and get him his daughter back! But all that didn't matter.......

I had my senior graduation, he didn't show up.....I had planned my grad party way ahead of time and let him know when it was so he could be there.....he never showed.....
A few days passed and I hadn't heard a word from him. I tried to call him to make sure he was okay and he didn't answer. I left it alone for a while, hoping that he would call me and say "Everything is okay, my love. I'm here." That never happened....my phone rang and I opened the text message that damn near ended my life, nearly stopped my heart.....
The text read, "This is not working...we're done...it's over." I froze...this couldn't really be happening...I had to be dreaming. I shut my eyes and squeezed them tight....but....when I opened them....the message was still there. My body went numb...my mind and heart shut down...I was a hollow shell.....
A couple months later I sent him a picture blowing him a kiss hoping it would spark something in him again.....I was too late....I got a text from the number that used to be mine when I was on his plan and it read..."Don't send my fiancée these kind of pix please. It is very disrespectful and rude."
Yet another wave of despair washed over me....he was engaged again....already....I had not a clue what to do or how to deal with it.... I kept talking to him as friends for the longest time then one day he just stopped replying and would not talk to me.
It has been 7 months now since he left me....I still love him...but I'm trying to force myself to move on....I deleted his number, his facebook, and a lot of the pictures, I even started dating this really great new guy, Loren. But nothing seems to be enough....I can't stop thinking about him...can't stop the deja voo that keeps hitting me like a ton of bricks.....I am still in love with him.....I know that a lot of you don't believe a teen knows what love is...but I do...I've witnessed it first hand....now I'm afraid to love again, afraid I'll never be happy again....
I spoke to him for the first time since then last night 1-18-13. I found that his new fiancée had left him the night before. All I want to do is be there for him, let him know he can lean on me still, let him know I will hold him if he feels like he is falling apart....but he barely holds a conversation now....I want to have him back but I'm not sure what will happen.....I still love him, want him, need him.....I still see him as my Guardian....my One True Love.....
I just don't know what to do......
CuriousKitten82 CuriousKitten82
18-21, F
1 Response Jan 19, 2013

Whoo boy. Okay, you probably won't want to hear this, but I will start out with saying I feel for you in this. It's not easy loving someone, and especially not easy falling in love with someone who runs out and leaves at the height of those emotions.

That said, you're being played. Hard. This man is a predator in my eyes.

There's this small, tiny chance that he's just misunderstood and was in the wrong place at the wrong time to understand the stuff he was going through....

There's also a small, tiny chance according to quantum physics that if I jump off a cliff I'll fly instead of fall to my death.

What this person has done is created a relationship with you, run off to create another relationship with another woman, and ASSUMING the truth that he has actually broken up with the other woman rather than simply talking up his game behind her back, he is at the very least using your emotions as a quick rebound to get his wet in a girl he already knows is head over heels with him.

You may love this person, but there is nothing in anything that you've shown to make me believe that he loves you.

Take the chance with this new guy. Don't let yourself fall into being one of those girls who keeps going back to the one that treats them like dirt[believe me, that's what he did]. He turned you down after asking -you- for marriage. At the very, very, VERY least he has a serious problem with commitment and you cannot help him get over that. Only he, and perhaps a counselor, can.

You deserve far better treatment.