Yep, a Brother I Never Met, and Never Will

I was my father's third child born during his third of four marriages; my mother's fourth child during her second marriage of three. Yea, two half-blood sister's, a deceased half-brother and a shitload of steps come out of that equation.

Imagine my surprise to find out when I was just around sixteen and my dad married his fourth wife that, due to her internet savvy, she managed to find my long-lost brother, one I never even knew I had until a few months before that. Turns out my dad had a fling in San Diego right after his first marriage with a girl, got her pregnant, then basically set her up with his best friend so she would desert my dad and run off with him.

His name is Scott, and though Scott's mother I actually talked to on the phone once during this discovery, Scott himself (being older than me by about 4-8 years) not really caring to ever know us. Personally I can understand him not wanting to know my dad, because it's one way or the other for one to want to see their biological father after nearly half a life of not knowing him.

I do kind of wish he wouldn't mind getting to know his other half-siblings though, neither me nor my sisters ever had any decisions in it. Plus despite him not formally being a part of our family heritage, I do think he should at least be entitled to at least a portion of the family heritage (the farm, to be told the family history, see where his biological grandparents and great-grandparents are buried, etc etc).

Oddly enough, Scott's mom sent us a photo or two of Scott, and he looks a LOT like me, and we both look a LOT like my dad. Me and my dad seldom get along too well (for a comparison of us hanging out together think of Bella and her dad from Twilight), mostly because emotionally and personality-wise we're so similar it drives us away from each other. But it was always pretty uncanny how much I resemble him at my age, and apparently so did this complete stranger/brother I never knew existed until a decade ago. Added to that my dad, Scott, and I were all three in the Navy during our prime years for one enlistment, and we were all three at some point stationed in Japan extensively (with Scott bringing a wife home, go man!). Isn't that coincidental to hell?

Oh well, maybe one day he might change his mind and want to explore his biological family.

dedre dedre
31-35, M
2 Responses Feb 13, 2009

I've been there too. My Half brothers and sister from my Mom's past want nothing to do with me and my brother. Oh well, life sucks sometimes.

I am loving the twilight reference! Your story reminds me of all these episodes of "The Locator" that I watch. Sometimes the guy finds the missing family member and they just do not want to know their biological family that is searching for them.