Fear

I have built a very strong wall around me.  Shutting out the pain that consumes me every moment of my day.  The let downs, dissapointments and more so as the lonliness that covers every part of my being.  I get scared that if I allow another person close to me I will break into a million little pieces.  Shatter beyond repair because I have been hurt so many times in my life that I fear I cannot take another blow. 

So to protect me from harm this wall I have built sure does make me alone, feeling out of place, not belonging in the world but at the same time it keeps me safe from the hurt that lurks just outside of the boundaries of my heart.  Until the day comes when I am ready to allow those walls down I am keeping them nice and high and only allowing those that I can trust a glimmer into who I truly am.

tatteredwings tatteredwings
36-40
4 Responses Mar 21, 2009

Thanks Graine its taking time but I am slowly allowing the wall to come down bit by bit.

Yes they do keep out the good stuff in life too. Unfortunatly that is the risk you take just so that you can not allow the bad stuff in.

I hope so, thank you for your kind words Tylorian

Someone somewhere is going to break that wall down and you'll be a lot happier because of it. You'll see. Just take things slow and things will work themselves out. Really they will! Sometimes it is love that finds us, not the other way around, just when you least expect it.