I'm Building One Right Now

I'm building my wall right now, wether I like it or not. It's funny too, because I'm a fan of Pink Floyd. What started the construction? First, I'm an alcoholic and drug addict. I was in recovery and wasn't using drugs or drinking. I was sober for almost three years. My family was proud. Last Saturday, I got drunk and high. I ended up having sex with a girl who was four years older than me. Of course I had fun. The catch was that her boyfriend, was was also at the hotel, didn't know. Now her cell phone is deactivated, and I fear it's the work of her boyfreind, who is also abusive. He hit her just for talking to me, and that was before we had sex. Now I'm worried about her. So yea, I told all of my friends this, but what do they say? "good ****, man. Good job getting laid." And yea, of course there's that side of me who apprcieates that, but theres more to me than that, a side people don't see, a side they don't know nor would understand. I just want somebody to love. Now that I got drunk and want to continue drinking, I'm isolated from my family. I don't act it around them, but i am. There are parts of me that I'm totally shutting out, good parts of me. One some level I want them back, but I feel like that I can't get them. I feel liek I need someone else to get them for me, someone I can love. Family is family, but you know I don't mean them. No one really knows any of this about me. You'll probably think i'm insane, and I am insane. I'm isolated mentally. As pink floyd says, it's just another brick in the wall.

jaycm610 jaycm610
18-21, M
Feb 25, 2010