Horrible Cycle

Always had weight problems growing up till finally losing all the baby weight that followed up to my high school days, after having my daughter my weight went to almost 230 my highest I've ever been between a failing six year relationship with my daughters dad the only way of controlling anything was with food. Now I am a single mother taking care of my daughter and between a horrible breakup food is still the only thing I can control. I don't eat then at night eat like 2 bowls of cereal And snack then purge. I'm done to 154 the lowest I have ever been. Between my job and school and my daughter and new relationship with the love of my life and him living an hour away it's making me crazy. I'm having mode swings and getting upset of my toddler by I want to eat bc I'm hungry or we ate with my family and I can't get a chance alone to purge I'm tired from working and driving my daughter back and forth from my house to,her dads and driving an hour to my bf house every week. Food is all I have to control I'm unsatified bc I want to be thin but I'm hungry and sad and lonely. It's becoming worse I've been eating less then 800 calories so,etimes less then 500 for 8months and I've Been purging for a few weeks now the other day I ate a large meal from McDonald's for breakfast and stuffed my face then purged it all then did again went to Wendy's for lunch......it's a revolving cycle I can't quit I don't know if I want to I'm sick I need help but not sure if I want it i have no one in common to talk about my problems...
MissMck MissMck
22-25, F
May 15, 2012