I Remember The First Time...

I remember the first time I stuck my fingers down my throat, I had debated with myself as to whether or not, but I thought only once...couldn't hurt. It was so convenient and easy and I did feel better having flushed all the junk food from my system. However, I have been in denial for about seven months now, but I can finally say it to mysef that I have bulimia. The only problem is I am too ashamed to tell my family, too disgusted in myself and too suburn to think I need help from other people. All I want to do is stop, I have tried and been successful on occassion, but whenever something happens in my life I often result back to it. For instance a few weeks ago my then boyfriend broke up with me, and I don't think my condition has been worse. I feel tired and a little depressed at times, but I am really good at hiding my insecurities through humour, i think i fool my friends too well. But i dont want them to know anyway because they will feel compelled to tell my folks. I have been exercising a lot as well which I use as a distraction, it feels good at the time but its never too long before everything comes back. Is there any advice out there? How did you go about telling someone? Have you told someone? I think I want to go to a doctor...but not sure I have the courage to admit it face to face.
pebbles1616 pebbles1616
18-21, F
3 Responses May 15, 2012

I'm not suggesting this is the way but I let it slip to one of my uni friends when I was drunk and now my whole friendship group here knows. It was scary at first thinking everyone knows but it's proved so useful. It doesn't cure it but it means that you have less opportunity to be secretive if you ever get the urge. Plus, friends aren't like your parents - they're not going to try and control you. When my mum caught me purging she was in denial and has never spoken about it since - parents don't like to admit that their child has a problem but friends will. They will probably go with you to a doctor too if they knew. If you told them you didn't want your parents knowing I'm sure they'd understand and would realise that's best for you.

Thank you...I will give it a try.

Call the doctor admitting it over the phone will be easier