Scared, Confused, Alone

I'm thirteen years old. The first day was January 28th, 2008. It's been almost a month. The first thing was grilled cheese. It hurt, and it took a while to get it back up, but I did it. Now, it's much easier. The only hard part is finding a time when I can b&p. Sometimes I go to the basement and no one knows what I'm doing down there. Last night, I ate my ice cream so fast, that when I threw it up it was still cold coming back up my throat. But I don't want help, and I don't think I need help. I've binged and purged every day for the last five days. Tomorrow I plan on purging milk, and Tuesday I'll purge ice cream. It's the easiest food. Maybe, one day, I'll go into recovery, but right now, I need this problem. Without my habits, I would have control over nothing in life. And it's my life, so I should control it. I shove my finger down my throat for a boy who doesn't know I eist, and I don't plan to stop until he does.

cheerleader1995 cheerleader1995
13-15
3 Responses Feb 22, 2009

omg! we have like the same problems and all. . <br />
i also started at age 13, and now im 15. . <br />
i also NEED this problem, and it also started for "boy issues"<br />
<br />
keep strong! you can do it. . .<br />
<br />
xo, elda

Think about the serious damages you're doing to your body. The hydrochyloric acid from your stomach is slowly eating the enamel from your teeth. I'm sure when all of your teeth fall out, you'll hope that boy doesn't notice you. At 23, just ten years older than you, I had to get dentures. Not a pretty picture. Fake teeth will be the least of your worries if you rupture your esophagus from vomitting or develop ulcers from heaving. You need to know that bulimia can kill you and will, if you persist long enough. And that boy? Chances are, if you succeed in getting his attention, he'll not want to be with someone puking all the time. Why not use your intellgence instead? You're obviously well-spoken and I think, smarter than the average 13 year old. This is not the path you want to take in life, honey. Trust me.

has it been a year or a month cause you said Jan 2008. Anyway You really shouldn't be doing this. Its not worth it over a stupid boy. Your only 13 and your body is still developing! Do you know all the risks that come with this??? Please know what your getting into before your soo deep that You can't stop! You can email me if you want. Please reconsider!