Cycle

haha! i am eating right now. i am seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist, nutritionist, obgyn, physician and soon a dentist and i still binge and purge more than once a day. im on prozac. it helped soooo much. i stopped thinking about food all the time and only b/p'ed 2 or 3 times in a week. now it's almost back to normal. i feel so helpless and hopeless. i want to not exist. i hate food being in me. i feel like an an insane person because half of me wants to get better so bad and the other half wants to live on a desert island with a supermarket, toilet, and kitchen and be alone forever. 

pinkpaintedshirt pinkpaintedshirt
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 8, 2010

What started it all? <br />
<br />
What's wrong with food being in you? Is the really the idea of food, or just an idea of something else, that you have erased in your mind and convinced yourself that it is food?<br />
<br />
The constant purging can't be good for you. Eventually if it hasn't started already, it will start to affect you physically a lot more then it probably is now.