Im Disgusting

what on earth is the matter with i cant stop sumtimes i fink its like i want to just stay bulimic regardless of fact its cost me so muchbut its all ive known for 8 years.i havent got anybody else to tell so thanks guys for listening
15steps 15steps
22-25, F
4 Responses Jul 29, 2010

The reason you feel like you would sometimes rather just stay bulimic is because its easier. I dont think there is one person in the world with an eating disorder who has said that recovery isn't hard as hell. We all think to ourselves "Whatever, this is who I am, this is my life, its a lot easier to just accept that its not getting better.". Because it IS less work to just listen to what the eating disorder is shouting in your head. Bulimia isn't exactly an illness based on high self-esteem - it's bound to make you feel liek you arent worth getting better. Its a completely natural feeling. But its a natural feeling of the ED, not of you. Don't confuse your bulimia's reluctancy to give up with your lacking the desire to give up. <br />
You DO want it, you just have to know that you want it.<br />
I experience the same thing. So this is, it is incredfibly hypocritical of me to preach.<br />
Stay strong.

Hey, i can help you if you contact me back...i passed through it over 8 years i have a healthy lifestile...IT IS POSSIBLE...and i was bolimik and anorexik at the end with some problems that will leave forever ...we can do it ...i will help you!!!

You need to talk to a counselor or a therapist about this. Don't say the internet is the only thing listening and who would care. And please please please don't say you are disgusting! That is NOT going to help! I know you still are able to end this disorder even after 8 years because you are a wonderful beautiful person who can get help and conquer bulimia! Have faith in yourself and in people who can help you win. You can do this and I'm cheering you on!!!

I have a couple of questions: do you do this because you do not like your outwardly appearence?<br />
or is it more because you don't like yourself regardless of how you look?