Living In My Shoes...Hi, I have been bulimic for about 3 years now. I am in college now and I know it is out of control... I am going to start from the beginning. Growing up my mother would always measure me, she would put tabs on me to weather I gained weight or lost it. When I was 10 I gained alot of weight unexplainably, and since then she tried to get me to lose it. It even got to the point where she offered to pay me to reach my goal weight. I was placed in weight watchers as a seventh grader, and seriously it was all I had known. I never fully lost the weight until I started throwing up after my meals. I got to lose 15 pounds and my mother began to praise me for it. I developed this image in my mind of a perfect thin beautiful teenage girl that I wanted to be. Every time I reached a weight goal, I felt like it was never enough and that I needed another one. I became obsessed with the scale and my weight and every time I looked in the mirror I would see myself, not beautiful, but fat and ugly I want to recover but i have no idea where to start, no one knows about this, I have no idea how I managed to hide it for so long, but I want to be able to get out of it without having to tell anyone. I wouldn't be able to stand my family and friends looking at me differently (because I know they would if they found out) if anyone is reading this, please... If you can offer any advice, any at all, maybe even a shout out to know that I am not alone in this.
Nuncamas 19-21 6 Responses 0 Feb 13, 2008