I've Had It For 10 Years Now...I think the most difficult part about it is many people don't understand it. They either make an ignorant opinion about it or they just don't know what to make of it.
I tried to stop so many times, but it's so difficult. I think "if I stop, I will gain weight, then I will be fat..." and I don't wanna go there again. I remember how people used to see me when I was "fat" It wasn't a nice life back then... I was so disgusted of myself, I hated myself... everyone would act so confident in front of me, they'd look down on me, they'd think they look better than me... I would get jealous when I see other girls get compliments from other people. All those days I refused to go out with friends, because I thought "I didn't look good"
Even though, it hasn't got any better, I still refuse to go out so many times, I still think I look fat, I still get disgusted of myself... but people don't look at me like they looked at the "fat girl" before...
This life... it's too much pressure, it's too stressful... and sometimes I think, is it worth it?