Hi My Name Is Bulimia I Am 26 Years Old!

HELLO TO ALL. I AM 26 YEARS OLD AND LIVING WITH BULIMIA. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE THAT I WOULDNT WISH ON MY WORST ENEMY!! IT STARTED WHEN I WAS 16 ANDPREGNANT. IWAS ALWAYS A BIT BIGGER GROWING UP AND WHEN I GOT PREGNANT WITH MY FIRST CHILD I WAS VERY SICK FROM THE PREGNANCY BUT IT ALSO ALLOWED ME TO LOSE A LOT OF WEIGHT. IT HAS BEEN ONGOING FOR OVER 10 YEARS NOW. I KNOW THAT WERE NOT ALONE BUT ITS A SUBJECT THAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED. I HAVE BEEN TO COUNSELING A COUPLE OF TIMES THROUGHOUT THE YEARS BUT I ALWAYS RELAPSE. FOOD IS MY COMFORT, BUT I HATE THE FEELING OF HAVING FOOD IN MY STOMACHE AND I HAVE THE FEAR OF GETTING EXTRA HEAVY. AS THE DAYS GO BY MY BODY FEELS WEAKER AND THE FEAR OF DYING FROM A HEART ATTACK OR SOME OTHER KIND OF BODY FAILURE GROWS. THIS SECRET IS RUINING MY LIFE!!! I ONCE TOLD MY MOM AND SHE JUST SAID SO STOP IT, PEOPLE DONT REALIZE THAT ITS NOT THAT EASY. IT IS AN ADDICTION AND A MENTAL ILLNESS. MANY PEOPLE DONT REALIZE THE SERIOUSNESS OF THIS DISEASE. I USUALLY BINGE AND PURGE ANYWHERE FROM 5-15 TIMES A DAY,,, UUFFFHH ITS ENERGY DRAINING, YESTERDAY I ONLY THREW UP ONE TIME,.>> AND TODAY I ATE A LB OF BACON AND HAVE HELD IT DOWN WITH A PEACH.. I KNOW I AM NOT CURED BUT WE HAVE TO START SOMEWHERE, ITS AN EVERY DAY BATTLE BUT WE ARE NOT ALONE. I HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS AND I FEAR THAT ONE OF THEM WILL BECOME THE SAME WAY,,, IT KILLS ME TO KNOW THAT THEY KNOW MOMMY THROWS UP HER FOOD BECAUSE SHE IS "SICK" ALL THE TIME. I WISH ALL OF US THE BEST AND HOPE TO FIND A CURE FOR THIS ILLNESS OR A WAY TO MORE AWARENESS. TREATMENT HAS NOT BEEN AN OPTION BECAUSE IT IS VERY EXPENSIVE AND I CANT AFFORD IT I JUST PRAY TO GOD EVERY DAY FOR ANOTHER DAY OF LIFE AND GIVING ME THE HOPE THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE SOBER.
guera0808 guera0808
26-30, F
4 Responses May 16, 2012

Having children makes the guilt even stronger and more determental. I empathize as I have two children I hide my purging from. Good luck-I am saying a prayer for you and your little ones right now.

i know bulimia is really hard. My gf suffers from the same. Good luck to you.

yes it is how are you handling it?? how did you find out?? I was in a relationship for 6 years I lived with this personand kept this secret>>>> :(

in a relationship you have to be honest with the person you're with, no matter the issue. It is hard but i love her , i have to keep the faith that she will get better.

Prayin for you . Opportunities will arise for you, help in forms you hadn't expected. Pray for peace in your life, peace in your family, forgiveness -a gift Jesus already died for, you just have to go to him and telll him whats on your heart

much appreciated,, I pray, i cry,, i ask why,, but i know that god is keeping me alive I have a purpose in life,, and as hard as it is I dont give up hope!! Thank you

I know it is a problem that you are struggleing to overcome, but I am sure you look awesome though!

I do look awesome, I have a nice body, im a great person, but iom not happy with myself,, i feel lonely, i feel like a failure, and i just got my grades in school and i failed one of my classes:( the harder i try i feel like i am going nowhere,,, except to the store to buy some food and binge!! I dont get it i wake up with the attitude that i will be ok and i can get through this but i always stumble... wtf

Please tell me you are NYC LI as I would love to meet you, you sound awesome

Nopeee,, far awayyyy....

we all stumble..how do we deal with it; by excepting God's good graces. Isaiah 55:Is anyone thirsty? come and drink-even if ou have no money! Come, take your choice of wine or milk, its all free. Why spend money on food that does not give you strength? Why oay for food that does you no good? Listen, and I will tell you where to get food that is good for the soul. Come to me with you ears wide open. Listen, for your soul is at stake. I am ready to make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the mercies and unfailing love I promised to David. He displayed my power by being a witness and a leader among the nations. I the Lord your God have made you glorious.
I especially like David's life story because he made many grave mistakes(murder&adultery por ej.)but God made him glorious none the less.

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