Dirty Secret

I have dabbled with purging since hs-but in college I found myself in a cycle of compulsive eating and forced purging. I "recovered" and didn't vomit anymore for seven years only to put on 110#. After soul searching-I had lap band surgery. I lied on my application about never having bulimia. Now I have lost the weight and had the lap band removed. But my demons are back. I am unhappy in my marriage and fearful of gaining any weight. As I type- my throat is raw from purging this afternoon. Please help- I cannot afford treatment and I am afraid that my husband could use my bulimia as a way to control or blackmail me if we do get divorced- unfit mother and "unstable".

altituderunner altituderunner
31-35, F
1 Response May 17, 2012

Im not sure what kind of advice to give. Try to stop. Try to stop by reducing the amount of times you purge daily. You can beat it. Your family is worth it.