Dirty Secret

I have dabbled with purging since hs-but in college I found myself in a cycle of compulsive eating and forced purging. I "recovered" and didn't vomit anymore for seven years only to put on 110#. After soul searching-I had lap band surgery. I lied on my application about never having bulimia. Now I have lost the weight and had the lap band removed. But my demons are back. I am unhappy in my marriage and fearful of gaining any weight. As I type- my throat is raw from purging this afternoon. Please help- I cannot afford treatment and I am afraid that my husband could use my bulimia as a way to control or blackmail me if we do get divorced- unfit mother and "unstable".

altituderunner altituderunner
31-35, F
May 17, 2012