I Just Want To Be Thin..

I have just come to terms with the thought of having bulimia, but I have been for a while now, about 2-3 years. 
I have been feeling extremely nauseous all the time, and even thinking about foods makes me nauseous or even dry heave. I have lost my appetite for a lot of things, but yet I still want to eat. When I do eat, I stuff my face until I feel like my stomach is about to explode, then I run to the bathroom to get rid of it. I can not STAND to be full at ALL, I love the feeling of having an empty stomach, like I can't gain weight. But I'm always hungry. If I gorge myself but I am not around a bathroom, ALL I can think about is "Where can I get rid of this stuff" or "OMG I am gaining weight every second this stuff stays in me" and I will have a nervous breakdown in my mind and regret eating all that food. If I'm full, I want my stomach to be empty. When I am vomiting, I keep throwing up until I am SURE there is nothing left in there. I actually like the feeling of vomiting. It feels good to know that all that food is no longer in me.
Soulsickness Soulsickness
18-21
3 Responses May 20, 2012

I know exactly how it feels to feel so anxious over the food that you have eaten, but trust me you will regret doing this. Your teeth will get so bad, maybe even fall out. I'm 28 and became bulimic at 14 and I wish I had never started. I'm not trying to preach to you, I just want to help you. You should seriously consider going to an eating disorder counselor. I'm here for you anytime you want to talk.

You read my mind, all those thoughts are the exact same ones that run through my mind constantly.

i feel the same way. if you need a pro-ana/pro-bul support buddy message me and we can exchange numbers