I Don't Know If I've Earned The Right To Be Here.....About half way through highschool i began making myself sick so as not to gain weight after eating but, this was very much on and off. It wasn't regular or extended. I also starved myself to lose, i did this 'successfully', losing three stone in one summer. I have always binged.
I noticed purging episodes becoming more prolonged in the past five years however, it was still infrequent.
More recently, over the last 6months, I have purged more and more regulary
Its only been, i think, a real issue for the past three months. First it was a couple times a week and at the moment it can be up to ten times a day.
I feel so pathetic coming on here and sharing this after only really having it 'bad' for three months.
I have begun to exercise obsessivly too - there hasn't been one day in the past 3weeks that i havent purged.
No ones really knows, i told my boyfriend but he hasnt taken it seriously so now i hide it from him too. I asked on another forum whether i should go to a group session for bulimia and they replied by saying 'you'd obviously get laughed out of the place, its only been 3months!!! Thats nothing, why dont you just stop it yourself, please yourself do whatever'.
So now i don't feel like i can go.
Other feelings: I kind of want this??? what the hell is that about?
My hands are cut from purging and my body aches, i get bad stomach pains
I am more satisfied binging and purging, because other wise i just restrict and get scared to eat anything and i exercise a lot.
The other thing is i also purge my safe foods after a normal meal.