Just As I Decided To Recover..
As I said in my last story, I had made the decision to go it alone and finally stop bulimia ruling my life. My friend even emailed a help line for me. But merely two hours later my boyfriend, who I've been having troubles with lately, told me he needs time to think because he feels 'weird' about us even though I have done everything right, he loves me, and he doesn't want to lose me. Not only does the fact that I've done all I can and I'm still not enough make me feel completely worthless, but the thought of losing him only brings back bulimic urges. I know that the second I lose him I will relapse and it will be worse than any previous relapses as I had never had genuine feelings or such intense relationships before him. Maybe I'm not ready to recover like I thought?