Hey Everyone

pucked till I saw blood tonight kinda scared me but can't stop doing it need friends !!!
skinnycow21 skinnycow21
18-21, F
2 Responses Jul 12, 2012

The same happened with me, it is scary ...

hell yeah its scary i was able to keep myself from puking today because of it

yeah, you should try to stop bulimia. it's really bad, and with time, it can ruin your teeth. it would be better to just not eat if you'd want to throw up, even if that would mean anorexia. bulimia is just terrible, disgusting, in my opinion. I even agree with everyone who mocks it and says it's like lying.... i really want to stop mine bulimia too. because people hate me because of it ...

I keep mine a secret the only people know is my husband and my best friend both are concerened but they leave me be cause that's what i want I am more on the ana side i was "diagnosed" with ana/mia in 2010 but refused treatment because i wanted to be me i don't like me but it is what it is i do tend to do less puking than i do doing without food its just the times that i get so ******* hungry i go on a binge and purge and than the fasting starts again

i tried so hard to keep mine a secret too, but my family found out...and my therapist knows. as well as a very few of my friends. but they are SO MAD at me, like raging mad. they show no support at all...and if i was to say that i want to be me (which i want to that too), they would be so mad, that it's like emotional abuse, it feels worse and worse...and with my sister she just accuses me of the worsest things ever and i ended up crying 2 times today, and screaming at her, and heartbroken....and at least no one tried to touch me and stop me, and make me do something i dont want to, i'm so tired... and i wasnt diagnosed with ana, but once i lost alot of weight and never felt better but was told i need to gain and i did. i starve too, and plus i sometimes exersize alot....i really hate binging, it all started with me having a binge (it's extreme) disorder....sometimes i just really hate my life.

I was 250 lbs when it all started I thought it was just a diet the no eating and restrictions and within 4 months i got down to 158 which sounds big but compared to250 it was small to everyone around be the dr diagnosed me and i thought he was a lier i did recover from that i had gotten bad that i wasnt eating at all and than on weekends i would binge and purge by puking and laxitives and since i recovered i relapsed a couple of weeks ago but the thoughts never ended i just finally gave back into the thoughts and so now the only ones that know are those two people but i'm hoping to keep it a secret because people can be cruel especially family members i'm sorry they are like that to you i know it sucks

oh...wow.... that weight is alot, but i was never more than 123 lbs until i was 21 or maybe 20 :/ and at 130, i looked like i had just eaten a whole whale or something. weight was always going up and down for me....idk which weight i was at when i felt happy...but i want to feel it again.the reason i was so happy was because i felt small and saw myself as small (it was after many days of exersizing alot, then almost starving for about 6 days), and i lost my appetite...i could even imagine the yummiest food in the world...and i didn't have the slightest appetite or attraction for it... That was happyness.... now it's not anymore.

i mean i don't have that feeling anymore so i'm not happy anymore

the picture of me by my name right here <-is when i was the smallest 158 and everyone thought I was a lot smaller than that so it scared them but like you 158 to me felt more like a whale like 300 lbs I had a friend that was 300 lbs and i honestly thought i looked exactly like her altough i could see bones i thought that was extremely fat as do i now i just want to look like what i think is happy too and i've never felt like that even at the smallest i was unhappy and wanted to be smaller

I understand what you mean.and btw, you look really good on the picture, it doesn't look like you are a bad weight...if i was at 150 i would probably look very terrible...idk why, but i always looked at least 40-50 lbs heavier than i was. In other words, i always looked like 160 - 180 lbs but was actually 110-ish.... it made me really very sad. i kind of wish i was 140 lbs and LOOKED like it. Because my friend is was 160 lbs and most of the time, her body looks SO SMALL, that i was to cry myself to death. I'm so jelous....i want to be small, it's even more important to me than weight. Even though both are important to me...I don't know why i feel this way...And one of my other friends,a guy said he weights 200, and i was like, omg...cuz he looks at least 95 lbs at the most. I just wish i could be like others((( . Some people have told me, i'm not skinny, and not small or anything like that. they said they'd guess my weight to be 165, 140.... and i would too, if i didn't have a weight scale. anyway, sorry for this long story. i didn't mean for it to be so long. and i wish you luck in losing weight...and stopping bulimia.

thanks you too


8 More Responses

yeah it was just tiny and that is what i've done today just am trying my heardest not to eat I've had a smoothie today and I feel good today and haha yeah nothing is ever normal for us