I dont really know where to being, other than I want a definite end. I want to stop. I want to look at myself and see beauty. I want to stop pinching fat, and trying to make a bigger gap between my legs. I want to feel the way my boyfriend sees me. I want to stop harming my body. I want to enjoy food and not fear it. I want to be able to go out and stop thinking about calories being consumed. I want to stop worrying about my appearance so much. I want to feel satisfied and full when eating. I want to be normal. I want to look at myself and see my eyes not my body. I want the obsession gone. I want everything to go away. I want to stop eating my roommates food and deciding whether to purge or not. I dont want to care about going out to eat and eating food. I dont want my life dictated by something so huge and small at the same time.... I want to tell someone and seek help without anyone I know finding out. I want help-please to god someone help me
dreamingofpossibilites dreamingofpossibilites
1 Response Aug 30, 2012

I know exactly how you feel. We are so ashamed and the shame makes us binge and purge even more.