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(it's Still A Secret, But It's Not A Problem.)

It started when I was in a bad relationship over a year ago. We would fight, yell, and cry for hours on end. I was ill. I was taking strong medications. All of the fighting, the yelling, the crying, it all made me feel sick. When I couldn't handle it anymore, I would go to the bathroom and throw up.

I stood up for myself and I left the relationship. I cut him off completely, and I thought I would be okay. I am still not okay. I used to throw up on almost empty stomachs because I was sick and upset. Now I eat when I am upset, and I purge because that is what comforts me.

I do not call it bulimia because it is not an every-day sort of thing. I go through seasons. I guess that I would make up reasons to not call it bulimia no matter the situation, because calling it something real makes it sound more like a problem, but....I just don't like it. "Bulimia. I have bulimia. I am bulimic." It sounds absolutely terrible, now doesn't it? But what else is there to call it? I don't know. Maybe that's why I haven't told anyone about this, until now.
closetwhore closetwhore 18-21 Sep 2, 2012

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