Bulimia

When I was in second grade, I had the hugest crush on a guy. I built all my courage up to go to talk to him, and the first thing he said to me was "You're the chubbiest girl in the world." It hurt. It really did. I decided I was going to get in charge of my eating. For obvious reasons, it's hard to do that when you're seven, so I decided to wait. In second grade, yeah, I probably did have a little more weight than others, but that was just my build. It was the first time I'd ever thought about my weight. I was noticing everyone else's shape, and it terrified me. I vomited deliberately for the first time when I was ten. Three years later, it's still there, and still going strong. I know that this all my fault, but sometimes it feels like it was that guy from back in second grade. It's stupid to blame something so huge on someone when they were so young, but it can be the only thing I can do to stop it from being my fault.
XyouarelovedX XyouarelovedX
13-15
1 Response Sep 25, 2012

Girl, life can be hard and being told such a thing from a guy you love the most is crushing...however, guys will always be guys....they might not ever notice that they hurt your feelings but that doesn't mean that they mean to hurt it or didn't care well unless they're jerks. Whatever you experience as a child will hurt more as an adult because at that time you are not completely aware of what it means but as you grow you understand and the pain will be worse...trust me...i know from experience. Don't ever let that get you though. It seems that you are tough :) because others might have actually committed suicide which is sad. You are beautiful just the way you are and there is no one who can replace your unique existence. People everywhere feel terrified because of all the media being bombarded around us about how skinny models are and busty chested women and that is causing all the girls a lot of hard and is destroying the guys image on what a perfect woman is (busty and perfect butt) which is also sad.

My point is there is only one life to live and I know it might be ridiculous to say that life is too short because thats the only thing we are doing which makes it always seem long but....life really is short and if you spend so much time worrying about how you look and trying to fit in then you will regret just spending time doing what you love and yearn for the most. Love happens in many forms and shapes and at times unexpectedly just decides to take control over you so don't go searching for it.....let it come searching for you.

I hope my advice helps you a little :)