Recovery?, Why Do You Assume I Want Recovery?

My mom's friend came to talk to me today about feeling depressed. She told me if I just got on the right medication, I wouldn't feel the need to be bulimic anymore. LMFAO! Medication can make chemical imbalances go away, can stabilize your mood, can make you less depressed, can even decrease your appetite so that you binge less. One thing medication can't do is make you stop liking your best friend, which is what bulimia has become to me. It's weird it's as if your best friend is some type of demon inside you (figuratively speaking), and sometimes this scares you, but mostly you just don't care. You don't care because this demon brings you what you need control (over your weight), stability (bulimia is always available), and love or at least the closest thing you have to it (bulimia will NEVER abandon me). Why would I give that up? Truth be told unless the needs bulimia fulfills are met elsewhere, I don't think I'll ever quit.
amy7777777 amy7777777
22-25, F
Jan 9, 2013