One Day...

I never liked vomiting , I would even asked myself how people with bulimia would do it. It all started when I was so drunk I had to vomit and it became a cycle; Then I had to started thinking about my weight.. I am always the fat girl in my friends group and I decided to try this binge purge thing and for some reason I felt good and relieve, I get like every time i ate and vomit endorphins where released.. and so it started.. I can say this year I am clean and I'm trying not to do it as often, but the thought is always there to haunt me, and I'm trying my best not to think about it. I wish I had somebody who knew or i could talk to, but I know that non of my friends will be supportive and/or understand what I'm going thru. But they are all super skinny and pretty, they don't now what is like for their thighs to rub as they walk, not being able to use shorts, or skirts on a hot day... they are pretty and every guys first choice and I'm just the fat friend even tho they are always saying I'm pretty but they just do it to make me feel better.... anyways on my own I am trying to get better :).
An Ep User An EP User
Jan 10, 2013