Im Lost

Well I never thought I would actually try to share my story just seems like so much and don't know where to start. I'm 22 and I've recently have become consumed with my bulimia. I don't have anyone I can be open with about this and what I'm struggling with. I'm from new jersey and my parents know I have had problems with food but they don't know just how bad things are right now for me. Someone please talk to me I just need a friend.
leilei23 leilei23
2 Responses Jan 16, 2013

Hi there,

I'm 22 also and am in the process of recovering from 3 years of bulimia. About a year ago I was in the same place as you, with no-one to turn to, waking up every day saying today will be different, and then the first bite of the day proceeded to set off a routine of binging and purging for hours on end, not being able to think about anything other than food. One of the best things I recommend right now for you would be firstly to take a deep breath and think long and hard about the reasons behind your bulimia. I thought that mine was just because I was vain - I thought I could eat whatever I wanted, purge and then be slim - it seemed perfect for the first few months until I was exhausted all the time, began to socially isolate myself and stopped feeling like there was much hope left. I also actually ended up gaining weight after about half a year of it! After downloading some meditation tracks and doing some soul searching I realised it was actually a lack of confidence and self esteem which was the underlying cause. As soon as you can understand the reasons for your bulimia and begin to try and accept them, the symptom - actually bingeing and purging will become less important to you. Yes, it is also a habit, but if you can try and just look in the mirror and see how happy your life can be without being held back by an eating disorder, at times when all you want to do is binge, just try and remember how many people care about and love you for the person you are, not your body.

Sorry this is a ramble, I just hate the thought of anyone feeling alone with no-one to turn to. I promise you will beat this, maybe not today or tomorrow but at some point you will be free and happy again. As bettynuggs1997 below said, feel free to message me too.

This is so accurate and insightful. I have never heard anyone express so perfectly how and what I have been feeling. Thank you for posting.

It's rough. I am going through the same thing and have been for more than 10 years (since I was your age). Prior to that I had been anorexic, but improved. In college I over exercised. Eventually it progressed to bulimia. I am scared for my life and recently began seeing a therapist. I urge you to try and get help. I know that it seems daunting, but your quality of life will improve subsantially if you beat this horrible illness. If you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.