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Have Never Done This Before But I Can Relate

I have read only a few of the stories listed and can already relate.
I am now 30 and have been bulimic on and off for the past 15 years.
In the beginning it was a way of me loosing weight and it worked. I knew I was never gonna be a skinny girl and figured if that happen people would ask questions. I just wanted to feel happy in myself. I guess 15 years on I am still trying!
I was at my worst a uni, in halls with a sink in my room it was easy and nobody knew. I even figured out the easiest things to eat (if that makes sense)
Over the years I have got better, I was in a relationship and the cares went away. When that finished I was kinda back at square one but opted for diet which worked but the little voice in the back of my head would not go away.
Now when I purge it's more to make sure I don't put on weight! I can be round my boyfriends, have a meal, and then feel guilty afterwards and then excuse myself and disappear to the bathroom. He doesn't know I'm bulimic, no one does. I tried to tell him once but he had had a few drinks and just laughed it off. Because I'm not stick thin he didn't think it would be possible. I haven't mentioned it since!
When it comes to health issues I have been fortunate in the respect that I do not feel asthough I have done any damage, well other than my teeth. I have them all don't get me wrong and to look at they look normal but I definitely have a quite a few fillings and my dentist definitely thinks it is because I have drunk too many fizzy drinks over the years.
Over the years I do not think there is a tooth in my mouth that has not been filled, including the front. You would have thought the dentist would have known the signs but no. Looking back on it now I kinda wish they had.

Again I am on a diet, I need to mention that according to BMI charts I am over weight and a size 14. I would like to be classed as normal weight and be a size 12! The problem I have now is that although this diet is working I am worried that when i am at goal I will go back to making myself sick to maintain it.

Maybe that's why diet companys always say that bulimics shouldn't do their diet plans.

I have a feeling I will be struggling with this for some time to come xx
An Ep User An EP User Feb 9, 2013

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