I Feel Ashamed
It started when I was in high school. I would eat when I was stressed out, once a day after school. I quit for a couple of years and then it crept back into my life somehow a couple of years ago. It happens now usually at least twice a day. I even pretend that I don't want to be around my boyfriend so that he will leave the house so I can be alone to eat and vomit. I don't even understand myself when this is happening. I think it is so disgusting and weak. It seems so simple, just don't eat that much food. I tell myself everyday that I won't do it again the next day; I'll just start eating healthier and smaller portions. Everyday I go back to eating large amounts of food and purging. It is like this insatiable craving takes over my mind and I can't control it. I want to stop. I have never told any of my friends, I am so embarrassed.